Acceptance

Etched by Jacqueline Davis Moranti (c. 2011)

For a long time, one of my fears was being alone. Honestly it was really my only fear. As an extrovert, I love attention and entertaining others that the thought of not having that was just dreadful. I guess somewhere along the way, I've applied that same feeling to relationships with the opposite gender. You ever get dressed up, put on your red lipstick and poof your hair out so big that it gets a category of it's own, just to go to a park, on a beautiful day, to just cry? Yes, i've been there and done that. Sometimes we need a good cry to realize that life will be alright even if there isn't someone there to affirm how beautiful or how amazing you are because you don't need anyone to tell you that, except for yourself. 

Illustrated by Jacqueline Davis Moranti (c. 2011)

Ofcourse, nobody wants to be alone, it's human nature to want that sort of companionship. And like all humans, I've been madly in love, had my heartbroken, i've felt the warmth of being in love and it's soothing qualities. The act of loving someone and feeling that reciprocated, allowed me to feel whole. Love truly makes life wonderful, until it completely demolishes you. 

Then why is it that we crave such a feeling that we all know from experiences can deliver so much pain? Rejection, it bruises our ego and make us feel irretrievable. It's a morbid way of thinking but it's the way our society has taught us to think, women are looked down upon if they aren't settling down after college, even my own family makes me feel weird about it. Fortunately, it's not the early twentieth century where women are exiled if they're not married by 18 years of age. Living the solo life will feel foreign at first especially after feeling the lost attachment like a phantom limb but it will have it's advantages like teaching you how to put trust in hope over fear and learning independency. 

Sure, twelve years ago I had thought that my life would be different now, but it's not what I pictured and that's okay because I know i've had some great triumphs and experiences that I could never foresee. A wise person once said, "There is a light at the end of a tunnel." The fear of loneliness is just temporary.